Obsessions I can't escape

I woke up one morning and realized I had a really good idea for a book I could write. I also realized that my ability to organize it were beyond my current technical abilities and experience. I've just been sort of daydreaming about it for the past week or so, mulling it over trying to get a grip on the scope and the why and the what of it. I mentioned the idea to a couple of good friends, one of which was Clark Humphrey. I said "I've got this idea, and it's a good one, but I don't really have the technical expertise to do it yet and maybe I should just wait for someone else to do it." He said "Oh no, don't do that, don't wait for someone else to do it first." I think the gist of it was that some people will never think of an idea, or if they do they wouldn't have the energy to pursue the project. In the meantime, as I think about how to pursue that, I've volunteered my research/editorial assistance to Clark, who has yet another, more organized historical project already underway. With Connor gone for the bulk of the Summer, in Oregon and Montana, I have no excuses left about why I'm not taking up projects that I'd been postponing in light of full-time work in a State bureaurocracy, single motherhood, after-school activities, and such. The obsession that I can't escape, even while I've pursued a stable career with the State over the past five years is the need to express the experiential and the existential. Perhaps I shoudn't wear my heart on my should so in a sterile venue as this but, I also realized recently that my personality and my natural inclinations probably also necessitate a career change, and that it's not frivolous to pursue one's obsessions, even if there is no clear revenue stream in sight, or as a direct result. Over the years, I notice my friends recognize the artist and the writer in me, even though I am still the student and an amateur. The twin facets have become inescapable. I can no longer just be the reader/audience.