Cynical response to modern-day irritants

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Below are various things that annoy the bejaysus out of me about living in the Modern Age.

  • Complex automated Voice Mail trees "..press 9 to talk about this, press 2...." None of which "say dial pound to talk to a human or manage a transaction too complex for a machine." Also, overly long Voice Mail extensions and option. Like: “just call 1-877-510-2147, Dial Option 1, then Option 6 then extension 914326. (huh?)
  • Grocery Store “Membership Cards,” such as the Slaveway Club Card, which tracks your purchasing habits and pattern-matches them to your zip code. Additionally, this requires extra steps in the transaction, digging out the stupid card and/or having to voice your phone number in public. Of course, you can give them bogus information, but that is a company forcing you into dishonesty. Just for the hell of it, I signed a card profile up using the QFC Corporate address so they can get their own junk mail. Not using one of these cards gives you a penalty in terms of an extra markup on food. But if you do use one, you get to see the great "discounted savings" you get (otherwise known as the normal price). I already pay too much for groceries living in urban Seattle. I don’t need the extra squeeze in the name of tracking and marketing purposes.
  • I also dislike the trend of "do it yourself" customer service, like when you go to the store, you can now check out your own groceries, or books at the library. It's like, "hello?...I already have a full-time job, ok?"
  • Smokers perpetually lingering in doorways, funking up everything. (They usually litter, they stink, I’m asthmatic.)
  • Young, attractive couples on dates in restaurants simultaneously talking on cell phones. Sad.
  • Mass marketing mail and telephone solicitors.
  • People who live in condos with designer pure-bred large breed dogs, who only take them to the sidewalk to relieve themselves, while simultaneously taking a smoke break, but never to run around off leash. Sad.
  • Meth users, junkies and “spare-changers.” I wish I could just take a giant fire hose and wash down all of Broadway, especially in front of the “Jack in the Box” and the Post Office. Not very politically correct, I know, but every day walking home for the past few years is like running the gauntlet.
  • People who follow Lyndon LaRouche (I was verbally accosted by one while downtown recently). Larouche is a scary, paranoid fascist.
  • Credit card companies in general. It’s so annoying to get armloads of credit offers with your name and address pre-printed on them, disposing of them securely is just another extra step. It’s like the floodgates of hell. Do the math on your credit debt when paying the monthly minimum amount and you will find you just handed over an extra 20 large in the course of repayment. If you sign up for a card, READ THE FINE PRINT, it’s a license to steal. I also hate the 20 pages of slippery coupons and marketing junk that comes in your monthly statement. (I always put them in the return envelope and mail them back to recycle.)
  • Annoyingly complex cell phone plans with long contract periods. QWEST as a cellular phone/ISP provider. Just say no.

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